Freaking Out? Totally Normal: Helping Your Teen Daughter with Anxiety

Teenage years can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions, and for many girls, anxiety can become a big part of the ride. If your 14-year-old daughter is struggling with anxiety, you’re definitely not alone. 

Anxiety disorders are actually more common in teen girls, but there are tons of ways you can be her rock.

Here are some tips to navigate those anxious moments together:

How can I help my 14-year-old daughter with anxiety?

Being a parent of a teen can feel like navigating uncharted territory, especially when it comes to anxiety. Here are some ways you can be her rock during these sometimes-stormy times:

Be her listening ear, not a drill sergeant: Sometimes tough love isn’t the answer. When your daughter comes to you with worries, big or small, ditch the lectures and judgments. Instead, create a safe space for her to unload. Listen patiently, ask clarifying questions (but not in an accusatory way!), and let her know you’re there for her, no matter what.  Validate her feelings – her anxieties may seem silly to you, but to her, they feel very real.

Become teammates, not teachers:  Instead of bombarding her with anxiety facts, turn it into a team effort. Hit the library together or search online for reputable resources about anxiety in teens. This co-discovery approach can help you both understand what’s going on and open the door to finding coping mechanisms that work for her.

Fuel her with healthy habits: Think of healthy habits as her personal arsenal against anxiety. Encourage regular exercise – it’s a natural mood booster. Find activities she enjoys, whether it’s a jog with you in the park, a dance class, or a solo swimming session. Make sure she’s eating nutritious foods that nourish her body and mind. Don’t forget the power of sleep! A well-rested teen is a better-equipped teen to handle anxiety.

Explore chill-out techniques together: Deep breathing exercises, meditation, and yoga can all be superpowers in the fight against anxiety. They help calm the mind and body, and the best part is, they’re all learnable skills!  Turn it into a fun activity – find apps or online tutorials together, and practice these techniques as a family. You might be surprised at how effective (and giggle-worthy) some of them can be. 

Know when to call in reinforcements: If your daughter’s anxiety feels overwhelming or starts to interfere with her daily life, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor who specializes in teens can provide extra support and develop personalized strategies to manage her anxiety. Remember, you’re not alone in this, and there’s no shame in seeking help from a qualified professional.

What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?

Feeling like your brain is running a marathon of worries?  Sometimes anxiety can take us on a wild ride, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the present moment. 

That’s where the super-simple 3-3-3 rule comes in – it’s a handy tool to hit the pause button on anxiety and bring your focus back to reality. Here’s how it works:

1. Look Around You (Engage Your Sight):

Take a moment to really see your surroundings. Notice three things you can see. It could be anything that catches your eye – a brightly colored flowerpot on the windowsill, a funny pattern on the ceiling, or even your favorite stuffed animal on the bed. Don’t just glance at them; focus on the details. 

What colors do you see? What textures? Is the flowerpot smooth or rough?  By actively engaging your sense of sight, you’re gently nudging your brain out of worry mode and into observation mode.

2. Listen Up (Engage Your Hearing):

Now, shift your focus to your ears. Pay attention to three sounds you can hear in your environment.  

This could be anything – the chirping of birds outside, the hum of the refrigerator, or even the distant sound of traffic. 

Don’t analyze the sounds or try to identify them. Just focus on the act of listening itself. Notice the volume, the pitch, how close or far away the sound seems. This simple act of listening helps ground you in the present moment and distracts you from the anxious thoughts swirling in your head.

3. Move Three Body Parts (Engage Your Kinesthetic Sense):

Finally, it’s time to get your body involved.  

Slowly move three different parts of your body.  Maybe wiggle your toes in your shoes, stretch your fingers wide, or take three deep breaths (focusing on the feeling of your chest rising and falling).  

The key here is to pay attention to the physical sensations of these movements. Feel the stretch in your fingers, the coolness of the air against your toes, the rise and fall of your breath. By engaging your body, you’re interrupting the anxious cycle and bringing your awareness back to yourself.

The beauty of the 3-3-3 rule is its simplicity. 

It can be done anywhere, anytime, and requires no special tools or training. It’s a quick and effective way to hit the reset button on your brain and bring yourself back to the present moment, helping you manage anxiety in the moment.

Why does my 15 year old have anxiety?

There’s no one reason why teens get anxiety, but there are some common culprits:

• Social Pressures: Fitting in, doing well in school, and looking perfect on social media – all that pressure can be HUGE for girls. It’s no wonder anxiety creeps in!
• School Stress: Tests, homework, college applications – school can feel super overwhelming sometimes. This academic pressure can be a major source of anxiety for teenagers.
• Life Changes: Divorce, a death in the family, or moving to a new town can be super stressful for teens. These big changes can definitely trigger anxiety.
• Social Media Overload: Constantly comparing yourself to others online and seeing unrealistic expectations can make anyone feel anxious.

What does anxiety in girls look like? Remember, it can be different for everyone.

Anxiety can show up in lots of ways, but here are some common signs to watch for in your daughter:

• Worry Monster: She might constantly worry about things, big or small, from school presentations to social events.
• Body Blues: Headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping, and changes in appetite can all be signs of anxiety.
• Avoiding Stuff: Your daughter might start avoiding things that trigger her anxiety, like hanging out with friends or going to school activities.
• Mood Swings: Feeling irritable, sad, or having trouble concentrating can all be symptoms of anxiety.

If you notice several of these signs, it’s important to talk to your daughter and consider seeking professional help.

Remember, anxiety is totally treatable. With your love and support, and maybe some of these tips, your daughter can learn to manage her anxiety and live an awesome life!