Dissociation: The Trauma Response You Might Not Realize You’re Using

Ever driven home and realized you remember nothing about the ride? Or caught yourself staring at a wall, unsure how long you’ve been sitting there?

That might be dissociation.

And while it can sound clinical or alarming, it’s often not. 

In fact, dissociation is one of the most misunderstood—but common—questions in mental health. Dissociation is a natural, built-in human response. It’s something most of us experience in some form. And yet, many people don’t realize they’re doing it—or why.

Let’s gently unpack what dissociation really is, how to recognize it in everyday life, and why it shows up (especially after trauma).

What is dissociation?

At its core, what is dissociation? 

It’s a protective coping mechanism—a way your mind distances itself from overwhelming experiences. Think of it like a psychological dimmer switch: when something feels too big, too fast, or too painful, your brain “turns down the volume” on awareness to help you get through it.

Dissociation can look like:

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from your body

• Losing track of time

• Forgetting parts of your day or conversation

• Watching yourself from the outside, like a movie

• Going on autopilot without conscious awareness

These responses can last minutes, hours, or longer—and they often serve a powerful purpose. Especially in trauma, dissociation helps the nervous system survive the unbearable.

But while this survival tool is protective in crisis, it can become distressing when it starts interfering with daily life, relationships, or a sense of reality.

So, what is dissociation? It’s not just “spacing out.” It’s your brain saying: This is too much right now. Let’s pull away to stay safe.

How do I tell if I am dissociating?

If you’re wondering, How do I tell if I am dissociating?—you’re not alone. Dissociation can be subtle. Many people don’t realize they’re doing it until a therapist, friend, or moment of reflection helps them notice.

Here are some signs that you might be dissociating:

• Time distortion: You lose chunks of time or can’t remember how you got from point A to point B.

• Emotional detachment: You feel flat, numb, or “not there,” even during big moments.

• Physical disconnection: You feel like your body isn’t yours, or your surroundings seem foggy or unreal.

• Autopilot behavior: You do tasks (driving, cooking, talking) without registering them consciously.

• Memory gaps: You forget conversations, events, or how you felt at the time.

• Mind drifting: You often zone out or disappear into your thoughts and struggle to come back.

Still asking yourself how do I tell if I am dissociating? Try this: the next time you feel overwhelmed or emotionally “off,” gently check in with your body. Notice your breath, the feeling in your hands, the sounds around you. If everything feels distant, foggy, or unreal—you might be dissociating.

What are the 5 stages of dissociation?

Not all dissociation is the same. It exists on a spectrum—from mild daydreaming to severe identity fragmentation. Understanding the five stages can help make sense of the wide range of what is dissociation:

1. Daydreaming and detachment

This is the most common and least intense. You drift off mentally during a meeting, forget part of your commute, or “lose yourself” in a book or movie.

2. Emotional numbing

You feel like you’re watching your emotions from afar. This often happens during stress, conflict, or trauma reminders.

3. Depersonalization

You feel disconnected from your body—like you’re watching yourself from above or walking in someone else’s skin.

4. Derealization

The world around you feels strange, blurry, or unreal. Sounds may seem muffled, and people or places can feel far away or distorted.

5. Identity fragmentation

At the more severe end, dissociation may include identity confusion or dissociative identity disorder (DID), where different parts of the self feel split or inaccessible.

Remember, not everyone experiences all these stages. Most people remain in stages 1–2, especially in everyday stress. But for trauma survivors, especially those with chronic or early-life trauma, moving through deeper stages is a way the mind copes when escape isn’t possible.

What happens when you dissociate?

So, what happens when you dissociate—internally?

Imagine a circuit breaker flipping off to prevent overload. That’s your brain stepping in to preserve your system. When emotions, sensations, or memories feel threatening, the brain disengages from the present moment.

Biologically, this involves:

• Reduced activity in the prefrontal cortex (decision-making)

• Increased activity in the amygdala (fear center)

• A disconnect between body and brain signals

This can make you feel blank, floaty, or like time is skipping. You may struggle to focus, remember, or speak clearly.

While what happens when you dissociate may feel scary, it’s often not dangerous in the moment. The issue arises when it becomes your go-to response for emotional discomfort—leaving you feeling numb, confused, or emotionally distant long after the threat has passed.

Is dissociation like zoning out?

A common question: Is dissociation like zoning out?

Yes—and no.

Mild dissociation can look like zoning out. 

But what is dissociation goes deeper when tied to trauma. Unlike everyday spacing out, trauma-related dissociation is often involuntary, distressing, and tied to specific triggers. You’re not choosing to disconnect—it’s a reflex.

For example:

• Zoning out while scrolling your phone? Probably harmless.

• Zoning out in the middle of a conflict, memory, or after a trauma reminder? Likely dissociation.

One helpful way to tell: if the “zoning out” feels paired with fear, numbness, or memory issues—and leaves you feeling unsettled—it’s probably dissociation, not just distraction.

Dissociation is more common than you think

Here’s the important truth: dissociation is not rare. Almost everyone experiences it to some degree. And for trauma survivors, it’s often the most-used tool in the emotional toolbox—because at one point, it worked.

What is dissociation, then? It’s not “crazy” or dangerous. It’s human.

It shows up on a spectrum:

• In a child who stares blankly when overwhelmed

• In a teen who jokes through pain and feels disconnected

• In an adult who goes numb during intimacy or arguments

It’s only when dissociation becomes frequent, intrusive, or disruptive that support may be needed. But even then, the goal isn’t to eliminate it—it’s to understand and gently heal the parts of you that felt the need to leave.

Final thoughts: Dissociation isn’t failure—it’s adaptation

If you’ve ever asked what is dissociation, the answer might be closer than you think. It could be something you’re already doing without realizing. Something your body chose to survive the hard parts.

At Sarah Cline Counseling, I help clients explore dissociation not with fear, but with curiosity and compassion. We work to gently reconnect body and mind, restore a sense of presence, and help you feel safe in your skin again.

Whether you’re unsure if what you’re feeling is “normal,” or you’re living with deep, persistent disconnection—this work is possible. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Ready to feel more grounded, more present, and more like yourself again?

Reach out. Let’s make space for every part of you—including the ones that had to disappear for a while.

You were never broken. Just brilliantly protective.